Sam I am, but who is Sam?

Hi! My name is Sam, and I left.

I had reached that point in my life where I thought fuck it. I hated where I was, I hated my job, I hated my situation, and I had finally had enough. So, I packed my bags, and I left.​

Before you go through my blog, let me give you a little bit of a back story. I’m half British, half Filipino, but was born in Indonesia. I spent the majority of my childhood jumping around. My dad was an expat and his job required we move every few years. I’ve had the chance to live in Indonesia, India, Singapore, China, the Philippines, and Iraq - where I currently am.

Many of you would think it must have been amazing. Well, for the most part, I suppose it was. Growing up traveling meant I had the opportunity to experience so many different cultures and meet all kinds of people. I’ve made and still have friends from all over. What's even better, most of the friends I made also had expat parents; meaning they understood distance was always going to play a factor in our friendship, and therefore are really low maintenance. Some of them I only get to speak to every few months or so, but when we do talk, we pick up right where we left off. I know I can count on them.

On the other hand, though, moving around has made everything seem temporary. Houses, rooms, materials things, even people. It was hard for me to settle down, and it became worse when my parents got a divorce. I was fourteen at the time, and everything seemed to spiral down after that. I was so used to having my parents telling me what to do, what club to join, sport to play, that when they were busy dealing with their own problems, I had no clue how to deal with my own.

I ended up finding myself stuck in a hole, and I stayed stuck in it for years. I wasn't sure what I wanted. I wasn't sure what I was good at. Eventually, I found myself at twenty six years old hating my job, I hated my situation, hated the environment I was in, hated who I had become. I had no sense of purpose, no clarity to why I was existing. There were days I wished the ground would swallow me whole. The more the days went by, the more I started to hate myself. I knew I had to do something. So I quit my job, and started to plan on how I could get out. Luckily, I had a friend who offered to try to get me a job abroad, and violà!

I took the chance, packed my bags, and was off! I have officially started my journey to discovering who I am, and what I am meant to be doing on this earth. If you find yourself in a similar spot, or know of someone who is, join me! Let's figure this shit out together.